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Dear Incorporeal Stream-of-Consciousness Diary,

LIFE IS THE BEST RIGHT NOW. Let me tell you all about it!

This Mayfair townhouse is super comfortable on a cold day, or any day! I have an armchair! I have loads of atlases and things and I'm just going to open them all up and spend a relaxing afternoon putting my fingers on some appealing watercolor maps of the British Empire, because why not? Atlases are great. Here I am, just chilling by the fire, about to read the hell out of this novel I have. London in 1865 is just about the coziest place on earth, if you don't count all the murders, and I am definitely not going to think about murders for at least the next twelve hours!

OH JEEZ LOOK AT THIS TEA TRAY with the tea and toast and EVERYTHING. TEA IS THE BEST EVER. I don't need to tell you I am going to eat me some of this amazing toast and some CAKE because WHO DOESN'T LOVE CAKE and then I'm going to read this book extra slowly because the toast and this book are both delicious and LIFE IS FANTASTIC – oh, hello, what's this? A note from my next-door neighbor? A problem? I COULD go over there and talk to her about it, but look, it's really freaking cold outside and in here I have this TEA and a BOOK I was going to--

FINE I WENT OVER I DID THE RIGHT THING OK? Doing the right thing is the WORST sometimes. I mean, I like my next-door neighbor and everything, but it was warm in my house and it's COLD outside and the rest of my tea is getting cold and the flies are walking on the toast I didn't eat. But ok. It's ok. I have a butler; he can take care of the toast for me. Butlers are the best. Everyone should have a butler! Maybe I should have TWO butlers. . . no, one is enough. Let's not get greedy. Life is still good. Not going to let this spoil my evening. Probably it's nothing. She probably just wants me to open a jar for her. This time period has jars, right? Besides, OUR BUTLERS ARE FRIENDS. You know the old saying, "If your butlers are friends, the breaking soon mends." Words to live by, Incorporeal Diary. I'm sure it's something completely innocuous and once we deal with it I can relax to the max. Right?

NOPE. NOPE. That's definitely not the face of someone who just needs a jar opened. Damn it. Unless. . . maybe it's a really big jar? That would be serious, right? Well, we'd better get our tea on before we get to the difficult part. If there's one thing you can count on in this world, it's tea. And brandy. But especially tea. Ok, let's have a nice comfortable conversation about this massive jar or whatever she wanted to --

DAMNIT LONDON

Can we not go ONE DAY without someone getting poisoned under mysterious circumstances

SERIOUSLY LONDON

WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM

. . .

In other words, I got A Beautiful Blue Death in the mail today (thanks to osprey_archer's recommendation) and I'm enjoying it so far. So much exposition! Poor Lenox, though. He was so comfortable for a second there. :(

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
osprey_archer
Oct. 21st, 2014 02:23 pm (UTC)
There are LOTS of moments in these books where people get to be super comfortable and drink tea and eat toast and stare peacefully into the fire! Unfortunately these moments tend to get interrupted by, like, poisonings, but after all Lenox chose this career and I guess eventually the happy tea moments would get a bit dull without the contrast. Maybe. I would like to test this theory out empirically.

(Also Lenox totally DOES end up with two butlers briefly in a later book. :p)
evelyn_b
Oct. 21st, 2014 05:26 pm (UTC)
I'm concerned that having two butlers at once may lead to Critical Butler Overload. Do the butlers get along? Are they territorial? I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

You should apply for a research grant to test this theory: Does A Life of Tea And Leisure Eventually Get Boring If There Are No Murders? My money is on "no," but I don't suffer from the restless mind of the amateur detective, so further research is indicated.

Also, I'm being constantly distracted by the fact that Lady Jane Grey is the name of Barney Snaith's car in The Blue Castle (despite being aware that it is also the name of a real human from history).
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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